The title of this song came to me after learning from a Scottish friend of mine that in the UK, the term “to play the gooseberry” is the equivalent of the American phrase to be a “third wheel.” Despite its sweetness, it’s a bit of a sad song, although it ends with a hint of hope for companionship in the future.

Gooseberry Girl

Gooseberry girl, when you gonna make your own swirl, gooseberry girl?
Gooseberry girl, when you gonna make your own swirl, gooseberry girl?
Gooseberry girl, when you gonna turn your ring around, gooseberry girl?
Gooseberry girl, when you gonna turn your ring around?

You can bathe every day in cherry juice,
But it won’t do you no use
You can soak every day in peach purée
But it won’t do you no use

Gooseberry girl, when you gonna change from lost to found, gooseberry girl?
Gooseberry girl, when you gonna change from free to bound?
Gooseberry girl, no matter what you eat you can’t change the seed inside
No, no, no matter what you eat you can’t change the seed inside

You can bathe every day in cherry juice,
But it won’t do you no use
You can soak every day in peach purée
But it won’t do you no use

Don’t rain your silly tears on the turtledove parade
Don’t get in the way of the parasol promenade
Not unless you have got yourself a noop-link
I think not, I think not

Gooseberry girl, oh no, don’t lose heart for maybe, there’s another
Gooseberry girl, on no, don’t lose heart for maybe, there’s another
Gooseberry girl who you’ll really jam with
And then things’ll get toasty

Oh, you silly gooseberry girl, silly...